Quitting My Corporate Job Was Not The Key To Happiness

But something else was...

It felt like a dream. Sitting there in Peter Luger Steak House in Brooklyn, New York. My boss sitting across the table knew I was about to share something big.

But first, martinis.

Grant and I always shared a passion for gin, and after a few sips of Bombay Sapphire, I was ready.

This was the moment I had been waiting for, and despite the booze burrowing into my bloodstream, I could still feel the nervousness in my voice.

“I’m going to be leaving JetBlue in a few months,” I shared.

After ten years at the company and a career that took me from being the airline’s first intern into a management position, I knew that I couldn’t give the normal two-week notice.

The weight lifted as the words evaporated into the atmosphere. There was no going back now.

What followed was a lovely meal, another round of cocktails, and wonderful conversation. I then spent the next several months closing out my tenure, preparing my team, selling almost everything my wife and I owned, and packing our bags for the U.S. Virgin Islands.

And I was happy.

I had some money saved, equipped myself with new skills as a bartender, and eagerly embarked on a new adventure. It felt like freedom.

It was incredible; living in St. John for a year, then traveling across the world for the next several years, and finally settling down in the idyllic ski-town of Breckenridge, Colorado.

But it didn’t last.

Five years after that fateful night, I lost that feeling of excitement and freedom.

I felt trapped in this new career. My mind raced as I thought over and over again, How can this be?

I wasn’t happy behind a desk.
I’m still not happy behind a bar.
The fairytale was over…

Or was it?

It turns out that I needed to be so miserable in the midst of paradise to realize something profound.

I needed to experience that same feeling of bondage that I felt in the confines of an office building in Queens while in the expansive glory of the Rocky Mountains; skiing over a hundred days a year, living a relaxed life, and yet once again unhappy.

I needed that wake-up call, and this time it was undeniable. No amount of change in my external world, whether that was skiing fresh powder, swimming with Whale Sharks in Australia, or dancing around a fire on a tiny island in Fiji, could replace the glaring truth I finally realized:

Changing jobs or locations was only going to offer temporary pleasure…never true, sustainable joy.

I was shocked.
I was confused.
And worse, I was more depressed than ever.

But I found a way out. Or shall I say…a way in.

My misery, which almost cost me my marriage - and a relationship with one of the most incredible people on this earth - led me to discover something called meditation.

I had no choice at that point but to turn inward. So I did.

That journey inward brought me near-immediate results. It brought me peace. It also brought me the clarity that I had simply reached the end of my bartending career and it was time to move on.

I couldn’t help but wonder how things may have changed if I had been on this internal journey while still working for the airline.

Would I have found contentment in it?
Or would I have left even sooner?

It’s impossible to tell, but I know that I would have been a kinder person; more present and more engaged. And what is a life when you feel like you’re not even there living it?

But, alas, there are no mistakes in this universe…everything was always leading me to this.

And as I share this story, I hope it inspires someone out there to question their own desire to quit their job.

I’m not implying that quitting is not the answer, but I am implying that no external change will ever produce lasting results.

So why suffer any more than is necessary to realize this and to begin that journey inward?

After all, inside each of us is the only place where true guidance exists. Better to discover that sooner rather than later.

Wouldn’t you agree?